Felix/Huntington with "LOSER"

Met James at Huntington Nakamal tonight to pass him his gift from Hawaii (flippers and snorkel kit).  I also made him a laminated collage of photos from when he got tanked at my place on Saturday, which he had no idea how drunk he was.  He ended up leaving the house without glancing in the mirror, so took a bus to Manples with "LOSER" written on his forehead...priceless.  A photo of him trashed:

The kava was good tonight, and the rain let up a bit so that always helps.  James gave me a huge plastic full of leche (sp?) fruit so that will be carried to the office for sharing tomorrow.  

We have put in place a 500 VT challenge, must eat healthy all day for under that amount.  We'll see who can do this the best, though he has way more practice than I do at eating on a tight budget.  

Hawaiian Awa

Just returned from a trip to Hawai'i where I was able to drink kava (or "awa") a few times.  They have a great deal of ceremony built up around the preparation of kava and serving of kava.  And as much as I appreciated having the opportunity to take part in the culture, I have to say that kava in Hawaii is:

I'm a firm believer that kava should not be translucent or thin.  I have grown fond of a richer brew that bubbles when served, one that displays in an almost cocky manner a thin layer of swirling oil at the surface, at once welcoming and daring you to drink.  Glad to be back in Vanuatu.

Bladiniere Kava Night

Last night was kava night at my Papa Micah's place in Bladiniere Estate.  I like drinking kava in that area, very peaceful after you get used to the planes landing and taking off close by.  

The kava we drank was sent in from Paama.  It was yellow kava, which we call "worry" because it's the kind that leaves you with a nasty hangover the next day.  Most people don't care for yellow kava, but Tahi is ples blong hem and most of the kava I have planted on Paama is yellow.  Less chance of it getting stolen by Lulep boys passing through.  

My tawi Sandy sent it after he returned from the agriculture trade show last month.  My brother Rena (the Maxidus guy) held the kava because, well, he's really good at the mix.  And Oko and I had the honor of opening the bucket.  Good showing, about 30 people stopped by.  Apes and I left around 10:30, stopped by Last Flight for a couple of Tuskers and jumped in a bus.  A good night overall.  And to think I was worried about walking around the area where most escaped prisoners hide after 13 jumped the high risk the night before...

Interesting story: I met a guy from Tavie named Alan who had spent two months in Utah at some point.  He described Utah as a "state up north with lots of stones".  He went for some kind of Mormon brainwashing seminar and was kicked out of the church--ironically--for taking another wife.  I think what he meant to say was he was kicked out of the church for cheating on his wife with a Salt Lake City prostitute, but that's not important.

Pango Feature Nakamal

Nakamal blong Kaltaliu near Brekas Resort in Pango is a great place I have just discovered.  Highly recommend it.  Billiard room, good seating under some burao trees in the back, little bit of a surfer feel.  Check it out if you get the chance.

Met up with Aminio and Kami, talked shop a little which is always a buzz kill.  Then moved to the subject of Pango youth, Aminio is a leader and has such a positive outlook on their situation which was good to hear.

Christmas in Pango

Went to Pango for kava with Kami (pictured above striking a righteous pose in front of the farea at VKS) and he brought his awesome dog Tutu.  He brought me to this great nakamal right before Brekas on the right.  New Zealand was playing Argentina in the Rugby World Cup and there was a small crowd to watch.  The nakamal has a game room with a billiard table and they were blasting Christmas music.  It seemed right though.  When the match was off, the nakamal played Lucky Dube, so imagine Lucky Dube and Jingle Bells competing at a nakamal and you can understand how amusing that was.

The nakamal has a big seating area under burao trees behind the main building.  Kami and I told dog stories.  He treats his dog the way I would treat a dog, which is unusual for people here and I respect him for that.  But you have to constantly worry about dogs here because most people would sooner abuse them for no reason, so Kami had Tutu on a leash.  I had to carry is kava to him each time.

The kava ran out and we walked to a little red light not far off and had another couple of shells there.  Man Paama (Lulep) are renting in a house next door so that was a surprise.  Pango is blowing up with rent houses and new developments.  One is a primary school that the government sold while school was in session to a developer and the kids were all kicked out.  Sorry kids, but white people need condos by the beach.  

HAPPY MALAMPA DAY!!

On Nakamal Etiquette

Spitting and hawking loogies: Perfectly acceptable.

Blowing snot-rockets: Perfectly acceptable.

Not washing hands after using the toilet: Perfectly acceptable.

Ratty clothes and dirty legs: Perfectly acceptable.

Tossing empty bottles on the ground: Perfectly acceptable.

Shaking uncontrollably and knocking things over: Perfectly acceptable.

Swearing: Encouraged.

Puking in front of others: Tolerated.

But let me just say, I was at Obama Nakamal in Anabru not long ago and when I got there, there were these women holding up graphic close-up photos of genital warts, herpes sores, gonorrhea and chlamydia infected taboo parts, and talking loudly about STIs with colorful language and actions.  For about an hour if not longer.  And I found this to be in poor taste.  When I am closing my eyes with my shell in my hands, leaning over and about to tilt my head up, kava touching my lips, I DON'T WANT AN IMAGE OF A VAGINA OOZING A WHITE STICKY DISCHARGE!!  Am I right?!  Come on, Obama.... But it was pretty funny that it was happening, so no REAL complaints unless this happens again.  NOT ACCEPTABLE!

While on the topic of what does NOT pass for acceptable, encouraged, or tolerated nakamal behavior:

Playing dancehall music on your mobile phone: Asshole move. (quiet Lucky Dube IS acceptable)

Spending the night sexting a stranger: Buy a plastic and bring it home, you lame SOB.

Not clearing your table/stump/chair of wasem-mouth leaves: Lazy douche move.

Stikim nek: An unforgivable sin of the highest order.  Shame on you.

Maxidus??

My brother Colin hosted a kava night fundraiser in Ohlen Whitewood recently.  He is the father of a newborn baby girl who, born at 1.6 kgs, is extremely underweight and has been at the hospital for a month.  And Colin has no job.  So all of his brothers went up to support him.  He had a stall at a small 3-window strip-nakamal (a new term I'm just now coining...strip-nakamal = a line of window stall kava bars as in Reynolds, Green Light Freshwater, Jay's, Green Mango, etc.) that is owned by someone from Epi that I'm supposed to call Papa and I still can't figure out how/why.

One of my brothers, Rena, at some point starts talking about movies.  He likes movies.  And the conversation got stuck on this movie he was describing and trying to tell me the name of.  So, there's a guy and he is put in a place and then all these doors open and he fights all these other guys.  I'm thinking Ancient Greece, and I think I'm right, because the name that came to him was Max Mitus.  Didn't sound right though, and he came back with Maxus.  Still not right.  A few minutes later, it went back to a two-word title, something like Mag Timas.  Nope.  And then he definitely knew, without a doubt, that it was Maxidus.  With a d.  Turns out he watched it but never got to see the last 10 minutes, so he wants to try and find a copy and finish it.  I tell you, we were stuck on that for a good 30 minutes.  And I still can't find it online, no matter how I spell it.

Lactone Laughs

Featuring: My brother Oko and his nambut ways.

His new name is Aming, which is a joining of Ameng (Nambut) and Ming (tipsikin) in Paama language.  Because when he drinks kava, after about three shells he can't talk anymore.  He just sits there, scratching his head.  No way to communicate aside from grunting.  Which is why he's a ming.  It's a fashion my brother Apeslom and I are trying to curb but Oko is fighting it.   Who likes drinking kava with someone incapable of story?? 

Everyone knows now that after the third shell, even if the kava is weak as hell, Oko shuts down.  On Friday night I went to a fundraising at my Papa Micah's house in Blatinier and when I saw him I asked if the window was closed already or if he could story.  Window i klos finis.  Aming i gohed.

Kava Kulture

Source : 2009 Vanuatu National Population and Housing Census

Analysis:

I find it interesting that the male age group peak drinkership is between 25-29, when 66% of men are hitting up the nakamal, when the peak drinkership for women is in their 40s.  This makes sense as the women you typically find at nakamals are older and...well, we'll save that commentary for another time.  Maybe kava trends follow sexual peaks.  But nothing surprising with this graph in terms of what I have observed after drinking kava for more than five years now.

However, this question does not look at frequency of drinking kava.  It simply asks if one drinks kava.  You could be someone who drinks only on the weekends or special occasions but are grouped in with the kavaholics who drink until 2 or 3 in the morning every day and sleep through to the afternoon.  I think that survey questions about kava use should be focusing on frequency and potentially average amounts drunk.  We should be interested in how kava affects society, so a simple percentage variable won't get the job done.  Also, I would like to look more closely at why less older people drink kava.  Could it be cultural (many older men are conscious of the current abuse of the kava custom) or is it more a result of the health effects of kava?

Makas

A haiku:

one hundred Vatu

slowly chugging kava juice

swallowing six times

A Second Wind for Kava Time

It's a north wind, so that can't be good...

It IS that time again.  The hour approaches and you feel it in your gut/bones/liver.  The gentle quiver of a kavalactone craving pulses through your body around 2 p.m., slowly increasing in intensity until half past 4 when your body tells you to move to the nakamal.  You are a kava junkie, but instead of tightening the rubber hose and tapping the veins (yeah, I watch movies) you let out a deep breath, lean forward, close your eyes, and tilt a shell of the good green juice.  You chug it slowly/quickly and wipe the dribble from your chin (unless you are lucky enough to have a beard to soak it up for you) before sinking into a plastic chair with your favorite wasem-maot.  The fix sets in and you breath deeper, blink slower, and talk lower.  The story is on.

The revised Kava Time blog will now feature original postings in categories such as:

• Drunken Quote of the Night - priceless gems from the mouths of kavaholics
• Kava Kulture - observations, recommendations, facts, and trends
• Lactone Laughs - so funny it chases your drunk away
• Mosquito Alert!! - an advisory on the 'stikim nek' conditions of Port Vila nakamals
• Makas - things that don't fit in the categories above can be found here

Here's to second winds!

                                                     Peter Joshua 2011, holding a stampa 

                                                     of my kava planted 2006 

More Tales of Magic

Nakamal Visited
White Gate in Freshwater Park.  They've removed some of the trees in the yard which I found disturbing (their removal, not the trees), and someone nearby was burning dirty which is supposedly illegal to do at night but who is around to enforce that one.  Hate that smell when drinking kava.  Awful washem-maot, as is the usual at that place--slices of tin pork for 50 vatu, boiled maniok for 20, and papaya for 20.  New light out the gate that says Open in neon red and these moving flashing blue lights encircling it.  Maybe a little over the top.

Kava Kwaliti
I enjoy the kava here, except sometimes the taste is a little too much (like last night).  It's usually pretty strong, and they stick with the same supplier so it's consistent quality, Pentecost kava.

Company
I had met up with Brian for lunch, he was building a house in Namba 3.  He told me to come up to Freshwater in the afternoon to storian.  I got there before he did, and heard some good stories from a nephew of his.

Amusing Observations
When walking home to drop off my bag before heading to Freshwater, I met up with a friend from Liro Nessa.  He told me, in the 4-minute window of time we had, that some crazy asshole in Freshwater Futuna dug up a dead baby and slept with the corpse.  The police were in the neighborhood the next day to retrieve the body.  He said the baby was already rotten and stunk.  And it was his brother's baby.  I doubt charges will be pressed...people are afraid of folks that do stuff like that.

At Freshwater, I was told the story of this legend Morris Bill (I think) from narasaed who was given the power to steal by an old dude from Ambrym.  He was instructed to go and dig up the body of a dead baby on Nguna, cut off the arm, bring it back to Vila, and then eat it.  Ever since, he's had the power to unlock doors that are locked.  Interesting part of this story: he keeps getting caught by the police stealing.  That's some bunk magic if you ask me.  Go through all that cannibalistic grave-robbing and you still end up in prison.  Go figure.  I guess this guy is still around and drives a taxi.

And an amendment to the cat-bone story from last month or so, you can kill the live black cat in boiling water, it doesn't have to be roasted alive as I previously reported, and there is a particular bone that can give you the power of invisibility commonly used to steal and rape with, it's not just any old bone as I had thought but still not sure if it's in the two legs in front or the two in back...but it's a leg bone none the less.

My brother has caused a problem, in his own words, which means he knocked a girl up and now has to deal with the fact that he might be forced to take her as his woman.  The good news is, he doesn't have to work this 'problem' out, his parents do.  I guess the girl is a student at USP and her parents are pissed off she didn't wait.  Hell, I'm just surprised she made it to USP without getting pregnant.  I honestly don't think any young people here (or older people) use condoms.  They might try them, but it's a novelty thing, no staying power.

Random Photo
A meeting of the tamtam society of Port Vila...very reclusive group, rare photo

Nakamal Frequency Report

Nakamals Visisted
It has been exactly a month since my last nakamal frequency report.  Staying true to my word, I am tracking this like a hawk.  Once I start traveling out of Vila for kava, I might have to figure out what to do about the "other" category--it's getting a little fuzzy as it is.

Namba 2 Lagoon BBQ

Nakamal Visited
This one place which is really nice called Felix (not pronounced "FEELIX") right out on the water just past Coleman Stadium, great chairs, good kava, quiet, I definitely plan on going back there.  Had a couple shells there, then filled up a plastic bottle with 1,500vt and took it back to Apeslom's house.

Kava Kwaliti
Good stuff, first shell made some work.  I didn't investigate too much, not sure where the kava was from, I just know it was good.

Company
Had a BBQ at Apeslom's house, joined by Tawian Samson and Papa Lani.  And, of course, the rest of Apeslom's family (his woman, his woman's first daughter, their daughter, his woman's mother, and other randoms I couldn't quite figure out).  His tawi Michelle joined us later for kava, he is a singer in a band her called...yeah, I think I forgot, Ruff Boys??  Apes lives in Namba 2 Lagoon on the land of wan of the Dinh brothers who used to be in politics.  Here are some photos from the day:

Apeslom cutting up everything he can find to use as firewood

Papa Lani prepping the kumala

Tawi Samson and Papa Lani in mid-story

Fat little wood-eating larvae that kids collect and sometimes eat...these are small ones

Apes ripping the guts and teeth out of the larvae before roasting it for me to eat

Amusing Observation
Apes told a story about this guy he works with.  He liked a house girl from Fiji who was working close by the construction site, and would ask her every day for a roll in the bush.  She always said no.  Then, sometime last week I think, he told her that he likes her so much he could eat her shit.  He then lifted a pile of dog crap off the ground and, while looking at her, rubbed it all over his face in some kind of comedic seduction act.  This, it was said, was done to impress the lady.  She ran away.  They now call this guy Dog Shit.  Great nickname.

The man who owns the property we were hanging out on used to be a politician, and he told me that what this country needs is more factories.  And, he said the women that live in town are lazy bitches.  He is not an ethnic Melanesian.  Not really sure where he fits in here, actually.

My tawi Samson wants to go back to the island, but my uncle won't let him because his brother is there and he doesn't want the added burden.  It's a sign of the times.  Samson has never asked his papa that he stays with in Eratap for anything, he works for his money and stays out of trouble.  Well, mostly.  They did end up naming the road he lives on "Breakem Ass Street" partly (mostly) because of him.  "Breaking Ass", on Paama anyway, is something that is done for fun by the young dudes (rarely girls, but that does happen sometimes), where one will walk ahead, and then drop their shorts, bend over and spread their ass cheeks and call out to you so you look, followed by laughter and swearing.  Breaking ass is a form of swearing, horrifying and hilarious all at once.  Sorry, no photos of that to post.

That night, Apes beat up his woman a bit (black eye, broken hand, I think he worked a kick in there somehow too) because he asked her to buy biscuits at the store and she came back with bread.  Me and wan Samson reprimanded him, but only after protecting him from his woman who came screeching down to the pier with a machete ready to cut off his money maker.  Domestic problems in Vanuatu are complicated.  He later tended to her wounds and talked to her, maybe even said he was sorry I'm not sure I wasn't in the room, while her mother came down to apologize on behalf of her horrible daughter.  I'm still kind of confused by that whole mess.  That episode aside, it was a great day with family.

Finance Fundraising and Tawi Turndown

Nakamals Visited
Fundraising behind the Ministry of Finance, BP Wharf, then a fundraising for the futsol team in Seaside Paama.

Kava Kwaliti
2-Day kava at Finance, so that was a mistake, then some good stuff at the wharf, followed by stink kava in Seaside.

Company
I trained trainers today for my survey in the old Parliament house before the week-long training session closed.  A fundraiser was held at the Ministry by Statistics to help fund a Christmas party, so everyone from the office was there.  Wotti came by to have a few shells with me before heading to work at the airport.  The two of us went across to BP Wharf after the kava was finished at the Ministry and had a few shells there, met up with Alan Simeon and told him about the plan to rus at Apeslom's place the next day.  When Wotti took off for work, I headed home, dropped off my bag, and walked down to the fundraiser in Seaside.  There's always a fundraiser in Seaside.  The kava is hit or miss.  Vivian sang out when I walked past her yard, and went I went to story with her Tawi Jimmy was there.  He came down to drink a couple shells with me.

Here are some pics from training in the old Parliament room (disregard strong faces, that's how group photos always turn out here):

Amusing Observation
So, after my second shell in Seaside, my sister who works at 24 Haoa was there and she stopped me and pulled me to the side to let me know my 300 pound Tawi (won't name names...) wants to get freaky with me in the bushes, and wanted to know if I was interested.  I politely said no on the grounds that she's my Tawi, which in fact is taboo, but I mean...if she wasn't...I might...  You could say family is tight on Paama.

Mi mo Amima

Nakamals Visited
A bunch of places I've never been to before in Nambru, close to the shopping centre.   One was called Lakeleo.  Shitty seating.  And I hit my head on a beam.  The Vaoleli one was decent, but toward the end this one mama told my brother in language, thinking I wouldn't understand, to make sure he brought the white man the next day to their fundraising.  I don't think I'll be going back there for a while.

Kava Kwaliti
All good stuff, no complaints, nothing off.

Company
Tawi Amima (Amy Chan) wanted to meet up with Kelep and meet his new baby girl before heading back to Paama.  She and her friends picked me up and we took a shell first at this one place while waiting for Kelep to swim after work.  Amima and I walked over, hung out with Kelep for a couple shells, then down to Kelep's house to visit with mama Pani and his woman Lolita.  We put Amima on a bus, she went to visit some other friends in Seaside, and Kelep and I went to this other nameless nakamal run by man Vaoleli village.

Amusing Observations
Amy is a great volunteer, it has been good getting to know her since coming back to Vanuatu.  Her update from the island: a young girl ashamed of being pregnant gave birth in the bush and killed and buried the baby, ran away and hid.  The community searched for her, found her and the baby, and buried the baby.  Oh wait, that's not amusing.  That's horrible.  Mama Pani unloaded a crap-ton of stuff for Amy to carry back to Paama with her.  She is really good about that stuff, it was very rare for me to be asked to bring stuff back and forth and I think it's incredibly generous of her to do that.

Kelep told me that while training for VMF in New Zealand last year, his supervisor (the daughter of the Prime Minister of Fiji) tried to seduce him, but he resisted because he already had a bun in the oven back home.  You don't hear that often.  I believe him, though.  I feel like none of my other brothers would have done the same.  They don't brag about NOT sleeping with a girl.  He told me she was crazy, so that probably factored into his decision to abstain.  Kelep is one of the funniest brothers I have here.

We talked about all the crazies around Port Vila--the guy who walks around stealing stuff without trying to be sly about it, this guy in Pango who shouts swears in church, the list goes on.  The great thing about crazies in Vanuatu, in my opinion, is their entertainment value, and the fact that they are cared for within the family unit.  No need for mental asylums.  Even if they walk all over town, they have a place to sleep at night and food to eat.  Nobody is ever hurt by a crazy.  Just last week, a guy stopped by VKS and told me to tell Barack Obama to send the military ships here so he can blow up this one village on his island.  I told him I'd see what I can do.

Ruuuuussssss

Nakamals Visited
Just the small VKS side nakamal, kava following an incredible day of story, kakae, and relaxing.  Ended up at 24 Haoa with Donnie.

Kava Kwaliti
2 2-liter bottles of Chiefs nakamal were brought over, kicked everyone's ass.  First bucket always a blue ribbon at that place.  The kava at 24 Haoa was...ehh...

Company
The entire staff of VKS and all project staff and YPP staff, that did NOT go to Noumea for the 4th Melanesian Arts Festival.  A little reward.  It was pre-planned, but in the morning we found out the Director's father passed away on Malekula, so we closed the office and dedicated the day to his family.  Everyone brought stuff to grill and eat, and we all just had fun, listened to music, told some stories, and then polished it all off with a few shells of delightful Pentecost kava.  Some photos of our day, captions at bottom:

George and Apu Vauleli roasting chicken and breadfruit

Stoning breadfruit...spoelem tri nomo be hemi fun

Big Boss of the story, Aminio, cooking up some chicken stew

Kumala is done

The ladies of VKS

Amusing Observations
Aminio is a funny bastard, I must say.  He lights a story up and everyone just inhales the second hand like it's crack.  It would be a disservice to try and translate one of his stories, since they come alive with innuendos and facial expressions that just don't write well.   If you see him, ask for his impersonation of the French dude that follows the Director around with the hair olsem faol...priceless.

Eddie from the Museum showed me this style of roasting papaya that has taken over my tingting for like the last 6 days and I finally got to try it.  It's amazing, you roast a half-ripe papaya on the fire until it's completely black, then you let it cool, then peel away the charred skin, cut open, clean out the seeds, and then fill with freshly grated coconut.  Just fold and eat!  A signature culinary masterpiece from Pentecost island, but I'm stealing it and bringing the wisdom to Paama in December.  The juice from it is supposed to be good for knee problems, and good for babies.  Side note, if you stone a man with a hot roasted papaya at night he/she will die.  But, I ask, who the hell is running around stoning people at night with hot popo?!!!  Another side note, I remember that hot roasted papaya is good for taking poison out of wounds from stone fish.  Here's a photo of the finished product:

Sign of the times

Nakamals Visited
Couldn't tell you.  I think one place was called bamboo, one was just in someone's back yard and they clearly did not have a license to sell kava, and one was over by Yumi Tu store.  All of the places were quiet and dark, which is more than I can say for most of the other places in town.  One of them had all these old bus seats inside the nakamal which was great for the back.  Technically, we were drinking in Freshwater, but it was right behind Stade.  Here's a random Stade photo:

Kava Kwaliti
The kava was good, actually, considering I mixed a lot.  Nothing negative to report.  I think that area has good kava in general, mostly from Epi and Pentecost.

Company
I met up with Kelep after the TVL Cup final (Amital took it 2-1 over TAFEA, and I hear it's because they have recruited Solomon Islanders to their team), and walked over to Freshwater to meet up with Mark (another brother I just met two nights before on a nakamal run with his brother Kaison).  Walking over there, I got a call from Wotti asking where I was and a shit-ton of other questions, and he was right behind me the whole time.  He couldn't join us though, his cousins were back from picking apples in New Zealand and he wanted to go shake hands with them first.

Amusing Observations
The three of us owned one of those nakamals for a few hours, nobody else was there.  Somehow, the convo turned to religion and beliefs in custom and black magic.  It all started when someone brought up the new appearance of vampires in Vanuatu.  I guess earlier this year, some dude (man Paama) was arrested when it was proved that he had been drinking the blood of his girlfriend.  That is a clear example of outside pop-culture creeping in.  Interesting to note that this custom story of the white man mixes nicely with black magic beliefs here.  Neither Mark nor Kelep claim to believe in black magic, taboos, devils, etc.  Kelep believes there is good and evil and that's all.  Everything evil comes from the one and only devil, and everything good is God's work.  Christians to the core.

This is not, however, what most people on the island believe.  You can stand up in church and denounce devils and black magic till you are blue in the face there, but at the end of the day, you don't walk down certain sections of the road at night holding lap lap banana...Moreover, Kelep is the last one in a line that knows how to stop rain through the sacrificial offering of white chickens and the burning of green leaves (there's certain other things that go along with it that I will never know, like what is said to the dead relatives during the whole procedure).  He said that he does not plan on continuing that ritual.  He doesn't believe that men or women can control nature, even though pretty much everyone on the island does.  Some know how to make the winds shift, some can make the ocean calm or rough, some can cause earthquakes or other natural disasters, and some can even make pigs grow faster.  It's a whole new generation of non-believers.

Story of the ghost

Nakamals Visited
Chiefs', SHEFA, and 24 Haoa, in that order.  Here's a random photo from Chiefs', which turns into a tailgate party between 4 and 6 at night:

Kava Kwaliti
Chiefs first bucket, as usual, was great stuff.  SHEFA for some reason was serving up cold and sweet kava, which someone told me is a sign that they made dry kava for sale.  That shit should be outlawed.  24 Haoa was standard, good stuff.  Shifted between the two stalls because Apu Willie doesn't like right-side kava toward the end of the bucket.

Company
Grabbed a shell at Chiefs with Joel, Aminio, Noe, and Francis after work.  Met up with Amy, Ian, and Relvie at SHEFA for a shell before Amy and her group headed out to their COS conference somewhere in North Efate I think.  Then I closed out my night at 24 Haoa with Apu Willie and the Luli crew which is turning into a ritual.

Amusing Observations
Just before my first shell at Chiefs, the museum guide drew a sand drawing of a ghost, but not just any old ghost.  The story goes, that if a young couple "friend" in the same place multiple times, this is disrespectful to the ghost that lives there.  After thoroughly pissing the ghost off with their raucous love making, the ghost with take the face of the woman and slowly make the man lose his mind.  Foaming of the mouth is said to occur.  Luckily, there is a leaf that can cure the crazy, but the young couple need to find another bush to frolic in or the ghost can come back and kill the man (for some reason, the ghost doesn't do anything to the woman...).  Joel said he witnessed this when he was a student at Malapoa.  I won't name names, but, well, it was Vanessa Quai's father.  Should that be a mi harem se?

At SHEFA, Relvie recounted her trip to the USA.  She just came back last week and had a good time visiting the states for the second time.  What struck her the most was the amount of makeup she saw young women wearing in DC.  Her theory is, makeup ages women.  And it looked strange to her to have all that makeup on just to walk around Georgetown in the middle of the day.  I would agree.

Apu Willie and another man from Luli drank kava with me at 24 Haoa.  There's this song that the other man sang in language that I need to learn.  It was about an old man who would had his eyes on this old lady widow and would give her fish he would catch every day.  One day, he noticed that everyone in the village had gone to the garden, but the old woman was peeling water taro at home.  He went fishing, and brought back a fish for her, for which she thanked him.  Then, he just looked down at her "taboo" place and said, "look, I've been feeding you for a while now, you need to let me do you".  Eventually, the woman lets him hit it from behind, and holds her hands up in the air because when water taro touches the skin it can sting a little.  The story goes with a sand drawing of a man and woman doing it with the woman's hands in the air.  There's a song that goes with it too, asking the woman to give up her taboo place, and that I need to learn.

Fundraising is getting out of control

Nakamals Visited
Went to the Wylep Village fundraiser in Seaside for a few shells, then to Reynolds, and back down to Seaside.  Finished with a shell from Kina's house fundraiser.

Kava Kwaliti
The kava at the Wylep fundraiser was watered down.  Reynolds was good, but we had kava from two different stalls because there weren't many serving for some reason and the one we started at finished.  Kina's kava had turned by the time we got around to it.

Company
Apeslom stopped by the house early to hang out, then Andrew came and we walked over to the Seaside area together.  That was the crew last night.

Amusing Observation
Andrew doesn't like Seaside because his ex-wife lives there.  He went to pick fruit in New Zealand in 2008-09 and when he came back he found out she had been sleeping around.  So he kicked her out.  All his Tawis are in the Seaside area, which makes it even less appealing to go there for him as he would have to buy them stuff if they asked.  When we got there, one guy asked him for a match, and we was like, "Ehhh, Tawi, mi no gat wan taem."  Then after we drank a shell of kava he reached into his pocket and pulled out a book of matches to light a cigarette.  I like this guy.  He has kava skin (skin of an elephant) but said when he goes to New Zealand again in November it will go back to normal.

Up at Reynolds, Andrew talked trash about those young people that "stikim nek" and warned me to stay away from them...I would say though that most of my friends are not like that at all.  It's reciprocal.  Jimmy is, but that's because he doesn't work and is "just visiting" Vila, but I know when I go to Paama he will repay me so to speak with a head of kava and all the fish I can eat.  Giving and giving back is just part of life here.

Down at the fundraiser again (we left Reynolds because Apes was feeling shitty and needed to walk around some) we met up with Ready Henry's son who works on Tokoro, the police boat.  He took my number, wants to hang out sometime.

Walking towards Green Lite, I noticed Kina was having a kava night and so we took a shell there.  Fundraising is kind of out of control in the Seaside area.  Three in two days??  Gotta spread the money around too or you seem like an asshole.  Apu Willie was there and wanted me to come back after putting Apes and Andrew on a bus, so lied and said I would, in that way that the person you are lying too knows you won't be coming back.  You can use your face to tell a lie in Bislama and it's totally fine, even better to lie than to say you won't be coming back.

Random Photo
The big bottle of Tusker by Anchor Inn:

Tahitians canoe to China in pursuit of freedom?

Nakamals Visited
The Vanuatu Cultural Centre namakal for the welcome ceremony, followed by Reynolds for a quick shell and then down to Seaside Paama for a fundraiser.  Ended the night with Tuskers at Green Lite.

Kava Kwaliti
Everyone got only one shell of kava at VKS, but it was strong.  I went home first before going to the fundraiser, which was enough time for me to recover.  The kava at the fundraiser was good, very strong.  Whenever you go to a fundraiser you expect the kava to be a little stronger if they do it right.  If it's water, your opinion of them goes down (they just want money...).

Company
Francis organized a welcome ceremony for the men who have sailed from Tahiti to Vanuatu in a canoe on their way to China.  There was custom dancing and some speeches (of course) and some kava and bunia afterwards. Everyone from VKS was there, including some fieldworkers.  This is their canoe and them at the kava ceremony at VKS:

The fundraiser in Seaside Paama was for man Luli, and I met up with KT, Jimmy, and Apu Willie there.  There was stringband, food, and lots of kava.  Jimmy and I kale-d at Green Lite until late.

Amusing Observation
I still just don't understand the whole canoe journey thing.  At first when I heard about it, I thought maybe it was a test of traditional navigation to see if the people in the Pacific could still manage to travel long distances by canoe.  Now, considering their canoe has "Freedom" painted on it, and considering a couple months ago I supposedly met the PM of Tahiti playing musing with coconut leaves in his hair at Reynolds singing about freedom, I'm pretty sure the whole gig is political.  Why is China their final destination, then?  Are the Chinese going to help them attain independence from the French?  Don't think so.

So Jimmy told me that he and the boys that were beat up last month by man Tanna are planning on striking back today (this was last night he told me).  I'm sure I'll hear about it later if it actually happens.  I discouraged retaliation again but I don't think it matters what I say.  He also told me he had this girlfriend from North Ambrym for a few days/nights and she got pregnant and killed the baby herself, which made him angry so he isn't sleeping with her anymore.  I asked him how she killed the baby, but he didn't know.  He thought maybe she had "sik blong faol".  He will be going back to the island at some point soon, when he tires of fighting and making babies in Vila.  He is thinking about his cows that his old grandfather is looking after while he's away.

My first last flight

Nakamal Visited
Last Flight nakamal near the airport.  This place is a wet dream for me, it has everything a nakamal should have that I've always fantasized about.  There are so many places to sit, blocked off private areas, I am sure I didn't even see everything last night.  The bathrooms are clean, the washem-mouth is good (though a little pricey), and it's away from the main road so it's really quiet and there are no headlights to piss you off.  Nobody was playing music last night which was good.  It smells good in there, which I've never experienced before.  And the ladies serving the kava are French (I won't say anything more about that).

Kava Kwaliti
It was good, the first shell was a 150 so I was feeling it.  This morning I feel fine, after 6 shells and a couple Tuskers.  They keep the kava on ice there, so it doesn't turn and taste bad towards the end of the night, and it goes down easier after you have had a few shells.  Brilliant idea.

Company
I met up with Wotlolan and his nephew Alex there.  I haven't seen Wotti in three weeks or so, and I had only met Alex once before with Alfred at Parliament Park.  Wotti was the sponsor tonight, bought everything.

Amusing Observation
Alex got like 40 text messages last night.  I am actually really annoyed with the distraction that mobile phones have created at kava time.  Most people here have the ones that play music, which as you know irritates the shit out of me (exception: slow reggae or slow string band played low), but the texting is worse.  The glow of the screen on someone's face, and the fact that whatever story you were in the middle of is on pause because some asshole wants to know how many shells of kava they've had are also irritating features of the mobile.

Kava In The News

Vanuatu's new soft drink with added kava

ELIZABETH JACKSON: In Vanuatu there's a new soft drink now on the market - Lava Cola. It's a cola drink with a kava additive. It produces the calming effect of kava without the muddy taste.

Sean Dorney went to the factory on the outskirts of Port Vila to see the drink being made and to speak to the people who are hoping they can create a brand-new international market. They'll advertise it as the alternative to high energy drink - the anti-energy drink.

SEAN DORNEY: Vanuatu kava is the most potent in the Pacific. It is definitely an acquired taste.

CAMERON MCLEOD: For those who aren't used to it or don't like the taste or who are new to the taste of kava it's a little intimidating and it's not pleasant.

SEAN DORNEY: Cameron McLeod is the Marketing Manager for a Vanuatu-based company called Unique Exports.

CAMERON MCLEOD: It's not wine; you don't drink it for its aroma or taste.

SEAN DORNEY: But now there is a new way to get the kava effect - out of a soft drink bottle.

JAMES ARMITAGE: I developed a water-based kava extract about 18 months ago. No-one's managed to do it previously.

SEAN DORNEY: James Armitage developed the product.

ARMITAGE: And so we decided to approach Vanuatu Beverage and try it out primarily with the cola. The kava cola has turned out to be a really good hit locally.

SEAN DORNEY: James Armitage and his colleague, Cameron McLeod, have lived in Vanuatu for years and they witnessed the collapse of the country's kava export industry.

Kava pills were banned by the European Union more than a decade ago because of side effects like liver damage, now attributed to former extraction methods, where not only the kava root but also the stems of the plant were used in the manufacturing process.

CAMERON MCLEOD: The EU ban on kava really took the wind out of the local kava economy.

SEAN DORNEY: Cameron McLeod.

CAMERON MCLEOD: That's probably understating it. It really, really smashed it.

SEAN DORNEY: James Armitage claims his extraction method avoids the previous pitfalls.

JAMES ARMITAGE: Most people until now have been using alcohol extraction and that's been the cause of liver problems as you may know in the past. It's just something through trial and error - I've been playing around with kava for 20 years - just we hit it; found the holy grail so to speak.

CAMERON MCLEOD: The future for kava is in a value-added product, specifically one where you can taste kava and get the effect of kava without that muddy, horrible taste that's normally associated with it.

SEAN DORNEY: James Armitage claims that kava cola achieves that.

JAMES ARMITAGE: The taste is actually quite refreshing. There's no muddy taste; you don't want to spit afterwards, which is quite unusual. As you know yourself you go to a kava bar and everybody's, you know, spitting.

You don't have that feeling, you don't have the stomach bloating associated with drinking large volumes of kava and, you know, four or five of these bottles of kava and a lot of people are pretty zonked.

SEAN DORNEY: They are sourcing their kava from one island in Vanuatu, Maewo, and the local Member of Parliament, Philip Boedoro, says the move into soft drink has been a real boon to his people.

PHILIP BOEDORO: People back home, like the communities, are very happy. They're very happy with what we are doing and they can see the, you know, the funds… the cash flowing back to their community.

CAMERON MCLEOD: A good friend of mine who I do drink kava with quite often explains it in that it's similar to a very mild, liquid valium.

JAMES ARMITAGE: There's a couple of other companies out there doing something similar. They're only using dried kava powder for their extract; they're not using anything nearly as potent as what we're using here.

And we're hoping that we can value-add the kava here and produce it here and export the syrup to overseas, but the United States is a monster market.

SEAN DORNEY: In the short term though, the next target markets for their kava soft drink - Lava Cola - are nearby Fiji and New Caledonia. 

How to fly

Nakamal Visited
24 Haoa.  It was raining and I wanted to be close to the house.

Kava Kwaliti
It was normal, average-to-strong kava, had 5 shells.  Nothing really to report there.

Company
Apu Willie was kickin it last night at the nakamal.  Of course, I met more new Paama dudes as is typical of that nakamal.  Jenny Harris' husband, man Tongoa, was there as well, but we didn't story that much.

Amusing Observation
Willie told me that his uncle was a "clever" and could fly to anywhere and steal alcohol in a matter of seconds.  And he could take passengers.  As long as you didn't open your eyes in mid-flight, you could hold on to him or his stick he used to sing with and go along for the ride.  It's not the first time I've heard this story, there are many stories of man Paama flying.  And every time I hear one, it has to do with stealing alcohol.  Never money.  Nobody has ever flown into a bank and stolen money (side note, the power to fly brings with it the power to get into wherever you want, no matter how secure the building is).  Willie has witnessed this, so I believe him.

He also knows how to cure a bad knee.  I assume this treatment could be applied for all joint problems, but I could be wrong.  What you need is a large 20-liter tin, the piss of all the men in the village, and some leaves.  Just bathe your knee in the mixture of piss and leaves and, voila!  You can walk again!  He swears by it.  It's an old Vietnamese remedy he learned in the 70s.  Willie witnessed it, so I believe him.  He's officially my new favorite Apu.

Random Photo
Burning dirty in Seaside on the way to the nakamal.

Vate Electric and Tawi Sam

Nakamals Visited

Started out at Reynolds Nakamal and ended at Ronnies

Kava Kwaliti

Ronnies is good for the size of the shells they serve up, but it's not the strongest.  The kava at Reynolds is good, the last stall if you follow the line from left to right in the back row.  I am a regular for her stall.  I here's a picture of her serving it up:

Company
I treated the dudes from Vate Electric who came and fixed my wiring today for a few shells at Reynolds.  Ian (June from the National Library's husband) who is man Makira, Damien, and one other guy whose name I cannot seem to remember right now.  I got a text from Josue that he was drinking kava with my Tawi, Sam Dan, at Ronnies, so I hopped in the Vate truck and headed over to Ronnies to buy them their last shell and then story with Sam.

Amusing Observations
Supposedly, work is finished at 5 for the boys at Vate, and they have to go park their company truck at the workshop.  But we drank kava from 4 to 6, so...I'm just sayin...why make the rule, then?

Mi Harem Se:
I gat wan fatfat polynesian man we i peintem tufala eyebrows blong hem mo hemi stap pem ol boe 5000 vatu blong mekem ass blong hem i so...

Here's a real Mi Harem Se from the Daily Post archives:
"Mi harem se a certain middle aged long term resident and respectable CEO of a company in Vila has let slip he was once a cocaine addicted male whore in his younger days where rich older women paid him US$100 an hour to perform sexual tricks with cocaine, chocolate finger biscuits and chocolate balls in London, California and Hawaii that made people he told choke on their kava. RESPECT!! Silip!"


Silip!

Death, magic, and more violence against women

Nakamal Visited
White Gate in Freshwater Park

Kava Kwaliti
I am finding that when Jimmy makes kava for sale here it's not the best, but then again it's mostly free for me so no complaints.  It's always clean, it's only one kind/species of kava, and it all comes from the same area on Pentecost, so those are three bonuses.

Company
Brian and Malcolm for the most part.  Chief Willie Virasulu (Pete's papa) was there again too, but wasn't up for a story.

Amusing Observations
A man had died on Pentecost 10 days earlier.  On the island, when a man dies the whole family/community feasts for 100 days, non-stop.  In Port Vila, because everything is expensive here, they feast for only 10 days.  I guess when Walter Lini died the people of Pentecost feasted for 1,000 days.

A crowd gathered at the park when a fight broke out between a man and his wife.  Nobody could go break it up though, because they don't have the right to do so, traditionally.  A woman belongs to a man (so long as they are married and she's been properly paid for), and so stopping a man from beating up his wife would be like stopping a man from feeding his pigs or cutting his grass.  It lasted for a good 5 minutes though.

I found out how to get one kind of black magic, and all I need is a black cat, a biscuit tin, a fire, a mirror, and a good 3-4 hours.  I probably shouldn't write about it in too much detail, but I will say that if it works you have the ability to walk through concrete walls, steal things without anyone noticing you, creep women and leave no evidence, etc.  Heeeeere pussy pussy pussy pussy...

Friday Night Nakamal Crawl

Nakamals Visited

Started out at Chiefs Nakamal for a couple shells, then to 24 Haoa for a few, over to Islanders for a few, and back to 24 Haoa, ended at Green Lite.

Kava Kwaliti

The first bucket at Chiefs=always strong, and I started off with a 150 shell.  24 Haoa was okay at Fillamon's stall, then that ran out.  Went to Islanders to hear the live stringband playing for the Seaside futsol team fundraisor and the kava had turned.  Back to 24 Haoa at the Tongoa stall and it was good.  Green Lite to finish, didn't go down so easy.  9 shells.

Company

I was joined at Chiefs by Ralph, Joel, and Francis.  At 24 Haoa I was with Job, met up with Uncle Frank at Islanders and went back with him to meet up with Uncle Joe at 24 Haoa again.  Last one with Job at Green Lite.

Amusing Observations

Chiefs has great kava but is shit for a nakamal, so it's strange seeing everyone there dressed up nice and on their best behavior all the time.  I left a bottle of wine in my SAIS bag at 24 Haoa and when I went back for it, Uncle Joe told me some random bus driver drove off with it, but he was just playin.  When he found out it was wine in the bag, he said he would have taken it himself had he known.

Time to re-org

Got a tip from an anonymous friend (not so much, it was Mischere Kawas, RPCV and master of human language) that I should break this up into sections to make it more enjoyable to read (meaning, allow people to read what they want to read and skip the rest).

So from now on, there will be sections for:

Nakamals Visited
Kava Quality
Company
Amusing Observation

I will leave room, of course, for random sections, such as "Kava In The News", "Who Did What Where Now?", and "Yu Save Finis", and toss in photos and video/audio when appropriate.

Trial begins tomorrow...

Uncle Frank

Met an Uncle from the Tahisa nakamal in Tahi at 24 Haoa last night.  He has been in Vila since 1960-something, and is a heavy drinker.  But doesn't touch kava.  And he used a lot of English phrases when he spoke to me.  Ni-Vans that do that remind me of this one student at SAIS who would speak French with us outside the classroom because she wanted to practice, but deep inside I'm pretty sure she wanted other people to hear her speak French.  Or this one Aussie d-bag I met once at a nakamal in Vila in 2007 who refused to speak English to us, so we had to have an awkward interaction in Bislama even though there were no ni-Vans around to include in the conversation.

I think 24 Haoa needs better management, but they have a lot going for them.  The kava is good, there are only two stalls to choose from so people don't get too confused, the washem-mouth is cooked by Paama mamas (which is a bonus for everyone, trust me), and they are in a good location.  They don't try to entertain customers with loud video (like Labor, Islanders, Green Lite, and a couple others) which I appreciate.  And they have their own grinder, but they could use someone to better orchestrate when the kava is actually made.  It's embarrassing that they are known as "24 Haoa" but run out of kava frequently and customers have to wait 20-30 minutes for more to come.  Not cool.  If the two stalls rotated more efficiently between buckets I think the whole problem could be avoided.

I was talking to Noe the other day about how I would like to manage a kava bar here in Vila somewhere.  If it was a full-time gig I think I could do a good job.  Still just a dream though.  He just opened one up in Freshwater 5 that only serves Malo Malo, so I'm going to go check that out the next time the ship comes in with more kava.