On Nakamal Etiquette

Spitting and hawking loogies: Perfectly acceptable.

Blowing snot-rockets: Perfectly acceptable.

Not washing hands after using the toilet: Perfectly acceptable.

Ratty clothes and dirty legs: Perfectly acceptable.

Tossing empty bottles on the ground: Perfectly acceptable.

Shaking uncontrollably and knocking things over: Perfectly acceptable.

Swearing: Encouraged.

Puking in front of others: Tolerated.

But let me just say, I was at Obama Nakamal in Anabru not long ago and when I got there, there were these women holding up graphic close-up photos of genital warts, herpes sores, gonorrhea and chlamydia infected taboo parts, and talking loudly about STIs with colorful language and actions.  For about an hour if not longer.  And I found this to be in poor taste.  When I am closing my eyes with my shell in my hands, leaning over and about to tilt my head up, kava touching my lips, I DON'T WANT AN IMAGE OF A VAGINA OOZING A WHITE STICKY DISCHARGE!!  Am I right?!  Come on, Obama.... But it was pretty funny that it was happening, so no REAL complaints unless this happens again.  NOT ACCEPTABLE!

While on the topic of what does NOT pass for acceptable, encouraged, or tolerated nakamal behavior:

Playing dancehall music on your mobile phone: Asshole move. (quiet Lucky Dube IS acceptable)

Spending the night sexting a stranger: Buy a plastic and bring it home, you lame SOB.

Not clearing your table/stump/chair of wasem-mouth leaves: Lazy douche move.

Stikim nek: An unforgivable sin of the highest order.  Shame on you.