Felix/Huntington with "LOSER"

Met James at Huntington Nakamal tonight to pass him his gift from Hawaii (flippers and snorkel kit).  I also made him a laminated collage of photos from when he got tanked at my place on Saturday, which he had no idea how drunk he was.  He ended up leaving the house without glancing in the mirror, so took a bus to Manples with "LOSER" written on his forehead...priceless.  A photo of him trashed:

The kava was good tonight, and the rain let up a bit so that always helps.  James gave me a huge plastic full of leche (sp?) fruit so that will be carried to the office for sharing tomorrow.  

We have put in place a 500 VT challenge, must eat healthy all day for under that amount.  We'll see who can do this the best, though he has way more practice than I do at eating on a tight budget.  

Hawaiian Awa

Just returned from a trip to Hawai'i where I was able to drink kava (or "awa") a few times.  They have a great deal of ceremony built up around the preparation of kava and serving of kava.  And as much as I appreciated having the opportunity to take part in the culture, I have to say that kava in Hawaii is:

I'm a firm believer that kava should not be translucent or thin.  I have grown fond of a richer brew that bubbles when served, one that displays in an almost cocky manner a thin layer of swirling oil at the surface, at once welcoming and daring you to drink.  Glad to be back in Vanuatu.

Bladiniere Kava Night

Last night was kava night at my Papa Micah's place in Bladiniere Estate.  I like drinking kava in that area, very peaceful after you get used to the planes landing and taking off close by.  

The kava we drank was sent in from Paama.  It was yellow kava, which we call "worry" because it's the kind that leaves you with a nasty hangover the next day.  Most people don't care for yellow kava, but Tahi is ples blong hem and most of the kava I have planted on Paama is yellow.  Less chance of it getting stolen by Lulep boys passing through.  

My tawi Sandy sent it after he returned from the agriculture trade show last month.  My brother Rena (the Maxidus guy) held the kava because, well, he's really good at the mix.  And Oko and I had the honor of opening the bucket.  Good showing, about 30 people stopped by.  Apes and I left around 10:30, stopped by Last Flight for a couple of Tuskers and jumped in a bus.  A good night overall.  And to think I was worried about walking around the area where most escaped prisoners hide after 13 jumped the high risk the night before...

Interesting story: I met a guy from Tavie named Alan who had spent two months in Utah at some point.  He described Utah as a "state up north with lots of stones".  He went for some kind of Mormon brainwashing seminar and was kicked out of the church--ironically--for taking another wife.  I think what he meant to say was he was kicked out of the church for cheating on his wife with a Salt Lake City prostitute, but that's not important.

Pango Feature Nakamal

Nakamal blong Kaltaliu near Brekas Resort in Pango is a great place I have just discovered.  Highly recommend it.  Billiard room, good seating under some burao trees in the back, little bit of a surfer feel.  Check it out if you get the chance.

Met up with Aminio and Kami, talked shop a little which is always a buzz kill.  Then moved to the subject of Pango youth, Aminio is a leader and has such a positive outlook on their situation which was good to hear.

Christmas in Pango

Went to Pango for kava with Kami (pictured above striking a righteous pose in front of the farea at VKS) and he brought his awesome dog Tutu.  He brought me to this great nakamal right before Brekas on the right.  New Zealand was playing Argentina in the Rugby World Cup and there was a small crowd to watch.  The nakamal has a game room with a billiard table and they were blasting Christmas music.  It seemed right though.  When the match was off, the nakamal played Lucky Dube, so imagine Lucky Dube and Jingle Bells competing at a nakamal and you can understand how amusing that was.

The nakamal has a big seating area under burao trees behind the main building.  Kami and I told dog stories.  He treats his dog the way I would treat a dog, which is unusual for people here and I respect him for that.  But you have to constantly worry about dogs here because most people would sooner abuse them for no reason, so Kami had Tutu on a leash.  I had to carry is kava to him each time.

The kava ran out and we walked to a little red light not far off and had another couple of shells there.  Man Paama (Lulep) are renting in a house next door so that was a surprise.  Pango is blowing up with rent houses and new developments.  One is a primary school that the government sold while school was in session to a developer and the kids were all kicked out.  Sorry kids, but white people need condos by the beach.  

HAPPY MALAMPA DAY!!

On Nakamal Etiquette

Spitting and hawking loogies: Perfectly acceptable.

Blowing snot-rockets: Perfectly acceptable.

Not washing hands after using the toilet: Perfectly acceptable.

Ratty clothes and dirty legs: Perfectly acceptable.

Tossing empty bottles on the ground: Perfectly acceptable.

Shaking uncontrollably and knocking things over: Perfectly acceptable.

Swearing: Encouraged.

Puking in front of others: Tolerated.

But let me just say, I was at Obama Nakamal in Anabru not long ago and when I got there, there were these women holding up graphic close-up photos of genital warts, herpes sores, gonorrhea and chlamydia infected taboo parts, and talking loudly about STIs with colorful language and actions.  For about an hour if not longer.  And I found this to be in poor taste.  When I am closing my eyes with my shell in my hands, leaning over and about to tilt my head up, kava touching my lips, I DON'T WANT AN IMAGE OF A VAGINA OOZING A WHITE STICKY DISCHARGE!!  Am I right?!  Come on, Obama.... But it was pretty funny that it was happening, so no REAL complaints unless this happens again.  NOT ACCEPTABLE!

While on the topic of what does NOT pass for acceptable, encouraged, or tolerated nakamal behavior:

Playing dancehall music on your mobile phone: Asshole move. (quiet Lucky Dube IS acceptable)

Spending the night sexting a stranger: Buy a plastic and bring it home, you lame SOB.

Not clearing your table/stump/chair of wasem-mouth leaves: Lazy douche move.

Stikim nek: An unforgivable sin of the highest order.  Shame on you.

Maxidus??

My brother Colin hosted a kava night fundraiser in Ohlen Whitewood recently.  He is the father of a newborn baby girl who, born at 1.6 kgs, is extremely underweight and has been at the hospital for a month.  And Colin has no job.  So all of his brothers went up to support him.  He had a stall at a small 3-window strip-nakamal (a new term I'm just now coining...strip-nakamal = a line of window stall kava bars as in Reynolds, Green Light Freshwater, Jay's, Green Mango, etc.) that is owned by someone from Epi that I'm supposed to call Papa and I still can't figure out how/why.

One of my brothers, Rena, at some point starts talking about movies.  He likes movies.  And the conversation got stuck on this movie he was describing and trying to tell me the name of.  So, there's a guy and he is put in a place and then all these doors open and he fights all these other guys.  I'm thinking Ancient Greece, and I think I'm right, because the name that came to him was Max Mitus.  Didn't sound right though, and he came back with Maxus.  Still not right.  A few minutes later, it went back to a two-word title, something like Mag Timas.  Nope.  And then he definitely knew, without a doubt, that it was Maxidus.  With a d.  Turns out he watched it but never got to see the last 10 minutes, so he wants to try and find a copy and finish it.  I tell you, we were stuck on that for a good 30 minutes.  And I still can't find it online, no matter how I spell it.

Lactone Laughs

Featuring: My brother Oko and his nambut ways.

His new name is Aming, which is a joining of Ameng (Nambut) and Ming (tipsikin) in Paama language.  Because when he drinks kava, after about three shells he can't talk anymore.  He just sits there, scratching his head.  No way to communicate aside from grunting.  Which is why he's a ming.  It's a fashion my brother Apeslom and I are trying to curb but Oko is fighting it.   Who likes drinking kava with someone incapable of story?? 

Everyone knows now that after the third shell, even if the kava is weak as hell, Oko shuts down.  On Friday night I went to a fundraising at my Papa Micah's house in Blatinier and when I saw him I asked if the window was closed already or if he could story.  Window i klos finis.  Aming i gohed.

Kava Kulture

Source : 2009 Vanuatu National Population and Housing Census

Analysis:

I find it interesting that the male age group peak drinkership is between 25-29, when 66% of men are hitting up the nakamal, when the peak drinkership for women is in their 40s.  This makes sense as the women you typically find at nakamals are older and...well, we'll save that commentary for another time.  Maybe kava trends follow sexual peaks.  But nothing surprising with this graph in terms of what I have observed after drinking kava for more than five years now.

However, this question does not look at frequency of drinking kava.  It simply asks if one drinks kava.  You could be someone who drinks only on the weekends or special occasions but are grouped in with the kavaholics who drink until 2 or 3 in the morning every day and sleep through to the afternoon.  I think that survey questions about kava use should be focusing on frequency and potentially average amounts drunk.  We should be interested in how kava affects society, so a simple percentage variable won't get the job done.  Also, I would like to look more closely at why less older people drink kava.  Could it be cultural (many older men are conscious of the current abuse of the kava custom) or is it more a result of the health effects of kava?

Makas

A haiku:

one hundred Vatu

slowly chugging kava juice

swallowing six times

A Second Wind for Kava Time

It's a north wind, so that can't be good...

It IS that time again.  The hour approaches and you feel it in your gut/bones/liver.  The gentle quiver of a kavalactone craving pulses through your body around 2 p.m., slowly increasing in intensity until half past 4 when your body tells you to move to the nakamal.  You are a kava junkie, but instead of tightening the rubber hose and tapping the veins (yeah, I watch movies) you let out a deep breath, lean forward, close your eyes, and tilt a shell of the good green juice.  You chug it slowly/quickly and wipe the dribble from your chin (unless you are lucky enough to have a beard to soak it up for you) before sinking into a plastic chair with your favorite wasem-maot.  The fix sets in and you breath deeper, blink slower, and talk lower.  The story is on.

The revised Kava Time blog will now feature original postings in categories such as:

• Drunken Quote of the Night - priceless gems from the mouths of kavaholics
• Kava Kulture - observations, recommendations, facts, and trends
• Lactone Laughs - so funny it chases your drunk away
• Mosquito Alert!! - an advisory on the 'stikim nek' conditions of Port Vila nakamals
• Makas - things that don't fit in the categories above can be found here

Here's to second winds!

                                                     Peter Joshua 2011, holding a stampa 

                                                     of my kava planted 2006